So This is Family
by theusedfan411
Summary: Five months after the Battle of Tessir, Merlin falls ill, the king is at a loss, how will he go on without his Consort? Then Gaius reveals the cause of the sickness. Merlin is pregnant! Merthur, A Love to Outlast Empires Book 2
1. Chapter 1

"Merlin?" Arthur sleepily asked his lover, five months after the battle of Tessir. The sun's first rays had just breached the horizon, giving everything a golden glow. Merlin and Arthur had been lying in bed, sound asleep, and Merlin had suddenly scrambled away from him, running to the opposite side of the chamber. "Merlin are you alright?" Arthur asked, blearily concerned in his early morning haze.

Arthur was instantly alert, as the sound of Merlin noisily vomiting into their chamber pot."Goddess, please..." The Royal Consort groaned. He'd been feeling unwell for the past two months, extremely tired, nauseous, always hungry... Now apparently, it had progressed to actual vomit.

"Do you need Gaius, love?" Arthur asked, as he tenderly brushed Merlin's sweaty hair off of his forehead. "This sickness is worrying me."

"Yes, get Gaius, please..." Merlin gasped, still leaning over. "I don't understand why..."

Arthur kissed his cheek, pulling a clean shirt on over the light trousers he slept in. "I'll be right back, just stay calm. Panicking doesn't help anything." Merlin managed to nod his assent, before Arthur left, and rushed down the long corridors to Gaius' chambers. He knocked on the physician's door, praying he would answer.

"Arthur? What are you doing up at this hour?" Gaius said as he pulled the door open. "It's barely dawn."

"Merlin is ill." At the words, Gaius leaned just behind the door, grabbing his medicine bag, and a few instruments.

"What caused it, Sire?" Gaius asked as he hurried down the corridors. "Was it something he ate, or drank? Has he been to the Lower Town, I know they've had an outbreak of influenza."

"We don't know what caused it. He hasn't been feeling well for some time, and just now, he started to vomit." Arthur opened the door to the royal suite, suprised to find Merlin sheepishly sitting on the bed. He appeared to have recovered, if not for the slight sheen of sweat still covering his face and torso. Arthur sighed, both relieved and exaserated that he was fine now. "Merlin, you idiot, what happened?"

"Well, I threw up, and I must have gotten whatever it was making me ill out of my system..." He grinned his foolish 'I know I've messed up, please don't be angry' grin. "Honestly, I'm better Gaius," he added, as the old man felt his forehead, and took his pulse. Arthur hoped that it was simply somthing he had eaten. However, that wouldn't account for the other symptoms...

Gaius looked skeptical, as he turned to Arthur, "What other symptoms has he been having, Sire?" Gaius asked the king. when Merlin began to protest, he silenced him, saying, "Merlin, everyone here knows how self sacrificing you are, so forgive us if we don't believe you."

"He's been nauseous for the past two weeks, uncommonly hungry, tired _all the time,_ and... moody. He randomly starts crying, no reason at all, just cries. That's been happening for two months, not too long after his natality." Arthur sat next to his husband on the bed, gently stroking his back, soothing him. Arthur was terrified of losing him, and prayed it wasn't something serious.

"Well, I have... a theory on what it might be, but such a thing is completely unheard of... I would like to confirm it, before I say anything." Gaius sighed, removing his spectacles and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Arthur knew the expression on the old man's face. It was the same expression he had everytime Merlin tried to scheme. But... he was sick, not trying to do a complicated spell...

Gaius had Merlin lie on his back, and he gently pressed on his stomach, moving in small circles. He frowned, pressing on one paricular area with both hands slightly apart. His eyebrow suddenly raised, and he pulled out his hearing cone, placing it on the spot he was feeling a second before. After a moment of listening intently, he straightened up, his face had an expression of understanding on it. "I believe congratulations are in order, my Lord. It seems that your husband is with child."

"What?!" Merlin gasped, as his hands went instinctively to his stomach, "How can... _That_ was the Triple Goddess' blessing? I'm _pregnant?!_"

Merlin's eyes filled with tears, as he contemplated what this meant. He could give Arthur an heir. The Pendragons line wouldn't have to end... They'd be a family. "Arthur..."

But his husband just sat there, motionless as a statue. Merlin gently sat up, a hundred times more aware of his movements. He placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, murmuring, "We're going to be parents, love. Can you believe it?"

That seemed to break whatever trance Arthur was under, and he smiled, tenderly caressing his husband's abdomen. "We're going to have a child... I never even dreamt of this. That it would be more than us. I love you." He took Merlin's face in his callused hands, and pressed his lips to Merlin's forehead.

Gaius cleared his throat impatiently. "My Lords, you must know... A man's body isn't meant to give birth. A cesarean birth will be necessary. And you will need to find a wet nurse for your child." Gaius stood to leave, casting a final glance at the royal couple, where they sat entwined in each other's arms. He sighed, shaking his head... Merlin always had to be _different._

* * *

"Cook, I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?" Merlin walked into her kitchen, ravenous. He was now three months along, and just beginning to show. Not enough to warrant maternity -paternity?- clothes, but he had a slight bulge beneath his tunics.

The baby had started to move the week before, much to his delight, and when Gaius listened to its heartbeat, he was proud to say there were two.

Merlin was having _twins._

"**_Please,_** Cook, can I have something to eat?" He put on his best 'pity me' face.

"No. You and the king are getting plenty of food. And keep your grubby hands off my pies!" Cook glared at him as he hastily put down said delicious pie, and looked away innocently.

"You know, he _is _feeding three..." The new serving girl said with a giggle. Ellne was her name, she had immediately found the Royal Consort to be adorable.

Cook sighed, consenting to Merlin's request. "Alright." She looked up sharply, as he grinned. Pointing her head-thumping ladle at him she warned, "One pie. One."

"Thanks, Cook." He beamed, and as her back was turned snuck two extra pies into his pockets before he dashed out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"I believe congratulations are in order, my Lord." King Lot, who had taken the throne from Cenred said, as he offered his gift, in honor of the soon-to-be-born princes , Merlin was convinced that their children would be boys, but Arthur... well, Arthur was just happy they were having children at all.

"We are thrilled you could be here, King Lot, though I must apologize for Merlin's absence, he..."Just as his husband was trying to phrase the situation delicately, Merlin returned.

"I apologize, my Lord..." Merlin adjusted his circlet, where it had slipped down to rest on his adorable ears. Arthur made a mental note to have it re-worked; it was a trifle large for him. "These little Pendragons keep pressing on my bladder." Merlin blushed slightly, sitting down and cradling his now-obviously-pregnant stomach.

"It's rather unusual, a man getting pregnant... Was magic involved? I don't mean to offend."

Arthur smiled, he knew that everyone was wondering the same thing. Merlin's pregnancy was very much a public affair, the entire kingdom celebrating the announcement. Merlin looked over at his husband, smiling as well.

"Yes, my Lord." Merlin began. "We had a handfasting ceremony in the Old Religion, and the Triple Goddess blessed me with the ability to give Arthur children. When our twins were conceived, I noticed a slight increase in my magic, but dismissed it." Merlin rubbed his stomach, smiling at the memory. "And then about two months later, we realized our gift."

"So you _are_ practicioners of the Old Religion, then? I had heard rumors, but I thought that the son of Uther Pendragon would never become what his father hated." King Lot asked, a frown on his face. Arthur knew that many of the neighboring kingdoms still feared magic, though he had hoped otherwise, with the king of Essetir. It seemed, however, that Arthur's hopes were in vain.

"My Lord, Merlin is a Dragonlord. I was conceived with magic. And we have proof of the Triple Goddess right here." Arthur placed a hand over Merlin's stomach, shielding their babies from him. "How could we be anything else?"

"True, Your Grace. I must admit, I have a slight fear of magic, I have seen it used for evil one too many times." King Lot seemed to be... slightly more judgemental than fearful.

"King Lot, please do not pass judgement upon us for our beliefs. I had hoped to find an ally, not an enemy, in you and your kingdom." Arthur skillfully navigated the turbulent political climate of the party, as he conversed with the leaders of the five kingdoms, but there was a niggling thought, a _ feeling,_ that there was someone, some_thing,_ missing from this. That feeling that he had when something big is about to happen, but he couldn't imagine what it would be.

* * *

"Announcing the Sorcerer Osgard, bearing a gift from the Disir."

Every head turned to the door, as a scruffy man in tattered robes entered the throne room, just as the feast began. He carried a ruby-encrusted chest, with a carving of a triskele on the lid. Osgard bowed before Arthur and Merlin, placing the chest upon the table in front of them. His every manner showed his respect and humility before the king.

"Your Grace, I am but a humble servant of the Goddess and her voice, the Disir. You have been judged, and found worthy. This is Her gift to you, in honor of your union." Osgard opened the box, revealing two very large, snow white eggs.

"The Goddess wishes that once more dragons may roam the skies."

_Dragon eggs_, Merlin thought. _The Goddess gave us dragon eggs._ He could barely believe that there, right in front of him was the future of his kin. Two more dragons to give Kilgharrah a reason to live.

"Osgard, your gift is priceless. We cannot begin to express our joy." Arthur gently lifted an egg from the velvet it rested in, and put it to his ear. _It's still alive, _Arthur thought, as he heard tiny movements inside the shell, and the beating of a small heart. He handed the egg to his husband, who placed it back in the box carefully.

"It is a token of the Triple Goddess' approval, your Grace. You and your husband have found the correct path." Osgard turned to Merlin. "I never doubted you would do your best to fulfill your destiny, Emrys. You have shown much courage, and heart, in your quest to serve Arthur. Jus as your gift from the Goddess is as much a gift to Arthur, so too is this gift is as much for you as it is for your husband."

Merlin asked him, "What do you mean, Osgard? I may be a Dragonlord, but why couldn't the eggs be solely for Arthur, to repay his debt to the balance of magic?" Osgard made it sound as if the eggs were his responsibility, that he must protect them. He would, but he wanted to understand exactly what he was getting himself into.

"A dragon cannot hatch without being given a name by a Dragonlord. So it has been since the begining. When you are ready, summon the Great Dragon, and bring the last hope for your kin into the world." Osgard bowed, finished with his task.

As he left, Merlin slowly traced the swirling pattern of the triskele engraved on the lid. He wondered how long the eggs could wait, but more importantly how long Kilgharrah could hold on. His friend was becoming I'll, as age crept into his bones, and weariness set in. Merlin resolved that as soon as possible, he would hatch the eggs.

He knew that Kilgharrah would be able to rest in peace, knowing there were others of his kind to carry on the magic. Even though, selfishly, Merlin wanted him to live forever, he knew that every creature would die, even the Great Dragon. The only thing Merlin could do was to let him go.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin struggled up the hill to the clearing where he and Arthur were to meet Kilgharrah with the eggs. His advanced stage of pregnancy made it difficult to move about, let alone trek through the forest, but he had to tonight.

It had taken a bit of finagling, but he and Arthur had managed to sneak out of the castle in the night, and into the woods. Arthur gently helped him over a fallen log, setting the chest down, to hold Merlin's waist. "Can you make it?" Arthur asked, only half jokingly, knowing that the work of growing two new lives left Merlin exhausted. He worried that they wouldn't be able to make it back to the castle before dawn.

"Arthur. Don't be an idiot. I'm fine." Merlin grumbled, as they finally arrived at the clearing. Kilgharrah was waiting for them, laying on the cool grass.

The Great Dragon heaved his enormous bulk off the ground, and padded over to Merlin, as Arthur knelt a little ways away, and removed the eggs. _-You are not well, young warlock.- _he said in Merlin's mind, his mental voice concerned.

-_-I'm almost due, and every movement takes a little more of my strength.- _Merlin replied, tenderly caressing his swollen stomach, and smiling wearily. -_I just hope I live to see my sons born. I fear I might not.-_

He stopped as Kilgharrah breathed into him, transferring his once mighty strength into the Dragonlord. Merlin felt energy return to his limbs, and his weak heart beat a little stronger. He placed a hand on Kilgharrah's snout, as the old dragon tiredly blinked. _-It is my pleasure to help Albion... Consider it my final gift to you...- _Out loud, the Great Dragon said, "Name the dragonlings, Emrys, and bring hope back to a dying friend."

Merlin nodded sadly, moving to kneel a small ways away from the eggs. He searched for a name, knowing it would carry a meaning in the dragontounge. **_"Sephara," _**he growled, naming the infant dragon, he had sensed that it was a female, when he had held her egg. A tiny squeak was heard from within, and cracks formed on the shell as she started to hatch.

Merlin moved onto the next one, he had felt it was male, and he growled out, _**"Eradac,"**_ as he named the dragon. The eggs both were hatching now, and within minutes Sephara came tumbling out of her shell and wobbled towards Merlin, and Arthur who had seated himself next to his husband. She was a deep blue color, with golden eyes, and large wings.

With a tiny frustrated roar, Eradac burst out of his shell, then looked around, seemingly surprised at his surroundings. He spotted Arthur and Merlin, immediately choosing to bond with the king, nuzzling his knee, and looking at him with sad eyes.

"He wants you to hold him." Merlin laughed as Sephara climbed into his shoulders, wrapping her tail around his upper arm to steady herself. Arthur looked down at the dragon, and hesitantly put him in his lap. Eradac made a sort of putting noise, only it was much wilder than a cat's purr. A small plume of smoke drifted out of his nostrils as he promptly fell asleep. Carefully Arthur stroked his back, minding the spikes, and Eradac's not-purring grew louder.

But just as the two new dragons entered the world, the old one, the Great Dragon, left it. But with his final thoughts, he told Merlin, _\- Fitting names, Emrys, 'hope' and 'bittersweet joy' are their names. Farewell my friend. -_

A tear of grief found its way down Merlin's cheek, as he said goodbye to the first friend he had made in Camelot, and by far the best.

-_\- Farewell, Kilgharrah. May you find peace with the Goddess. -_

* * *

The warm Summer breeze swept through the castle that night, as the two dragons flew off into the darkness.

A baby dragon already had everything it needed to survive on its own, though as Merlin watched them leave, he knew they would visit often, and stay within Camelot's borders, as he had told them.

He slowly laid himself in bed, knowing the next day, his sons would be born, having talked to Gaius a week ago. They had agreed that he couldn't be able to give birth the normal way, and that the only way was a 'Cesarean' birth. He would be put in a deep sleep, and Gaius would assist the two princes into the world, if all went well.

Sleeping fitfully, he dreamed of an older Arthur, and of himself, still young, crying over his lifeless corpse, and woke, tears pouring down his face.

Today his children would be born, and in his anticipation, he forgot the dream, forgot the warning.

But it was for the best, after all, no man, no matter how great, may truly know his destiny.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin laid on the cot in Gaius' chambers, clutching Arthur's hand tightly in nervousness. Today was the day the twins were to be born. His mum set a large basin of water, with a rag, on the small table next to him, along with some scary-looking medical tools. He took a deep calming breath, and placed his other hand on his stomach.

Arthur's hand covered his, and then a large nudge bumped their hands. Merlin smiled, glancing at Arthur. "You'll be fine, Merlin. Gaius knows what he's doing." Arthur said, though he too seemed nervous. He was trying to be brave to Merlin, as he knew his husband was terrified that one of them wouldn't live past the next few hours. Arthur prayed to the Mother that his irrational fears were unfounded.

"Merlin, my son, you need to breathe, and relax... It'll be easier if you do." Hunith sat on another little chair on Merlin's other side. She pushed his hair out of his face tenderly.

"I'm going to put you in an enchanted sleep, my boy, and when you wake, you'll be a parent to two babies." Gaius gently placed a hand on Merlin's forehead, drawing on his magic. _**"Swefe nu."**_ He muttered, and his ward began to drift off.

The last thing he heard, was Arthur's voice saying, "I love you, Merlin."

* * *

Merlin woke to a cool washcloth washing his abdomen. The annoyingly cold water almost made him open his eyes, but he wondered why he should get up... He was so tired...

"Merlin you beautiful idiot, wake up and meet your sons."

Merlin's eyes flew open as his hands felt his curiously flat stomach... His babies... He looked to the side, and saw Arthur with a small bundle of blankets in each arm. "We... did it?" He whispered, shocked. Arthur smiled, as Hunith helped her son to sit up. The king leaned forward, gently lowering his arms, so Merlin could meet the two little princes he brought into the world.

Tears fell down his face, as he gazed at his two sleeping sons. One was fair, with curling black hair, and, of course, his ears were a _little_ large. The other son was less pale, with pale blond hair, and even in sleep, a small smile. His sons.

Arthur kissed his cheek, murmuring, "You did it."

"What will you name them, boys?" Hunith said, as Gaius came back into the room.

"I want to name the one who is smiling Balinor, Bal for short, after his grandfather, and the other, Alanar, after a great King of Camelot." Arthur looked at Merlin for approval, gently murmuring, "What do you think, love?"

Merlin just smiled, and stroked little Bal's cheek, getting a soft coo in response. "Perfect, Arthur. I... I can't believe it, they're not just an idea anymore, they're here, in your arms." He fought back a sob, knowing Arthur would accuse him of being too much a girl if he cried. "I didn't think I could love anyone more than you, but our sons... I might just love them a smidge more. Half a smidge." He glanced up at Arthur, sheepishly smiling, and was very surprised to see that he was about to cry as well.

"I know what you mean, love. I didn't think it was possible to love this much." Arthur kissed his husband, and Merlin smiled into it. They were both so unbelievably happy to have these two little boys in their lives.

"My Lords, you will have to find a wet nurse for your sons, as Merlin, unfortunately cannot nurse them himself, but he can indeed bear children." Gaius handed Merlin a small tonic, to help him heal and recover. Suddenly, it registered that Gaius said children.

"Gaius," he said, after he drank the foul tasting potion, "do you mean we could have more?" Arthur glanced up sharply, as he set their sons in a medium sized wicker basket to sleep, just until they could bring them to their cradles.

"I want a lot more children, Merlin, if we could... I'd love a huge family." Arthur helped Merlin put a soft tunic on, careful of the bandages around his waist. "Bal and Alanar could have a little sister or two, and maybe a little brother..." Arthur's words painted a happy picture of children running through the castle, and Merlin holding a tiny baby girl in his arms, ten years from now.

"I'd love that, Arthur. Name of the Mother, I want as many children as we can have." He grinned, leaning on Arthur's shoulder, as they walked over to their sons. "I wonder how many of our children will have magic." Merlin mused, as Arthur held him up. "I have a feeling Alanar does, he's a miniature me, so he's got to."

"And Balinor is the first born, though only by a few minutes, and he'll be the Crown Prince. It's funny, though. He's got your smile." Arthur turned his head, kissing Merlin's temple. He was so proud of him, unbelievably happy that everyone made it through the birth, which, though he would never tell Merlin, was touch and go for a minute, when Alanar wasn't breathing right away. Yes Merlin would never be told that.

"My boys, I don't see why, if you're careful, you can't have that dream of yours be a reality." Gaius gently patted Merlin's shoulder, saying, "The womb tissue remained intact after the birth, and if, the next time, it's still there, well, perhaps you can have a very large family."

* * *

Two days later, when Merlin had fully recovered, they took their sons to Iseldir's camp, and had them baptized in the Old Religion, and the next day, they opened their deep blue eyes, just like their fathers'.

The kingdom rejoiced at the news, and a new painting was soon displayed in the hall of portraits, of Merlin, Arthur, and the two princes that they loved possibly more than each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Balinor giggled quietly, shushing his twin, "Sshh, Al, Papa will hear us..." Just turned four, Bal loved to drag his quiet brother into his games.

The boys were now getting into -for Alanar, unwilling - mischief, as usual. Bal had decided that they would hide under their Papa's desk, and surprise him when he went to write his speech for tomorrow's festival.

"Merlin, why don't you lay down, you're exhausted..." The king's voice said, as his and Fa's feet appeared in the boys' line of sight. "Gwen will find the twins, you need to rest." Merlin's steps were slow, as he was due to give birth in two days, but insisted on filling his days with the winter solstice preparations.

"Fa?" Alanar ruined Balinor's fun, running out from his hiding place, and wrapping his small arms around his father's legs. Alanar was deeply worried about him, and could see the dark circles around his eyes. "Are you gonna be alright?"

"Al! It's called a surprise!" Bal pouted, as he too left the hiding place, and went to his parents. He then noticed the worry pervading the room, as Merlin sat heavily on the bed, hands cradling his. stomach.

Alanar climbed up onto the bed, and sat next to his Fa, gently hugging him, his small arms not even making it halfway around him. "I'll nap with you, Fa. I'm tired too." He said quietly.

Balinor also climbed on the bed, as Arthur pulled the covers back for the three of them. "Yeah, it's nap time," he mumbled, scared. Usually Merlin was full of energy and life, to see his father like this... Even Arthur didn't know what to do, let alone their four years old sons.

"Fa, you gonna be alright?" Bal asked, as the three snuggled under the blankets.

"Your fa is going to be fine, boys. He's just a little bit run down. And in two days you'll have a little brother or sister to play with and take care of." Arthur sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at his family, love and worry mixing in his eyes.

"It's a sister," Merlin mumbled, "The magic is different from the last time." He looked ready to pass out, he was so tired.

Arthur knew Merlin was going to be right about the gender of the baby, he was with the twins, and Arthur learned long ago not to doubt his husband.

Merlin's eyes drifted closed, as he said, "I want to name her Sarai. 'S a good name."

Arthur tenderly brushed Merlin's hair from his face, and kissed his forehead, then his sons'. "Your fa will be right as rain in a few months, just you wait and see, boys. I promise. Get some sleep, and when you wake up, we'll have dinner."

* * *

Within a month after the birth, Merlin was indeed 'right as rain', back to his usual energy, as he looked after his three children, Alanar, Balinor and Sarai. He knew it was going to be a girl, just by the energy of magic coming from his womb. He doted on the little princess, with her curly black hair and deep blue, almost violet eyes.

Sarai had all of the castle wrapped around her little fingers, even more than the princes did. Something about her adorable dimples made the entire kingdom melt.

When Balinor and Alanar were five, someone had left broken glass from a smashed window all across the corridor near the boys' rooms, and Bal was running towards it, trying to hide under his bed before Gwen could find him for his lessons.

Alanar saw that his dear brother, always barefoot, was about to run through a sea of glass, and reacted instinctively. His blue eyes turned gold, as he slowed down time. They turned gold again, as he fused the glass together, placing it back into the window frame, and as he restarted time, Balinor ran through what was, only seconds before, certain pain.

The two serving boys, used to Merlin's magic, looked around in suprise for the Royal Consort, but only found Alanar, who caught his brother, and was telling him sternly, "Bal, watch where you are running! I don't know how I did it, but you almost ran through glass! You would have, if I hadn't cleaned it up for you."

Merlin had been waiting for this to happen, for the son who looked so much like he did at five to show his first signs of magic. He began to tach the little prince himself, all about magic, Dragons, and his heritage as a Dragonlord. Bal was jealous, that is until Arthur began _his _lessons on swordplay, and knightliness, and how to govern a kingdom. The two boys remained as close as ever, as they spent their time teaching little Sarai what they were learning, even as they learned it.

Arthur was proud of his sons, and the way they took care of each other and the responsibility they showed, in their training, and in their respect for their little sister, who adored them.

* * *

"Amayah, where is Sarai?" Merlin asked his youngest daughter, as she quietly played with the dolls she had been given for her third birthday three months ago Amayah was a girly-girl, prim and proper, as befitted a princess. She looked at her father with her wide innocent eyes, and pointed to the corner behind her bed.

"Sarai's invisible. Hiding." She said, just as her tomboy older sister made herself visible again.

Amayah turned back to her pretend tea-party, as Sarai carefully stepped around her bed.

"Traitor," she muttered, not ready putting force behind it, as she mussed her sister's hair. Sarai straightened her tunic, and tightened the laces on her boots, as she walked to her father.

Merlin gave her 'the look', the look he'd given each of his children many times, when they deliberately avoided lessons on etiquette and manners. "I thought we'd agreed, Sarai, that you would stop avoiding your lessons, you _need_ to learn proper court protocol. You _are _the oldest princess." He sighed, placing a hand on his stomach, as he was now a month pregnant, and just beginning to feel the morning sickness.

Even this early, he was sure it was going to be a golden haired son, just like Balinor. Merlin had learned to recognize the different types of energy given off when he was pregnant. He knew Sarai would have black hair and magic, and that Amayah wouldn't. Everyone noticed how the little royals who looked like Merlin also had his gifts, and the ones who took after Arthur had his sense of duty and desire for adventure.

Sarai's deep blue eyes looked up at her Fa, wondering why in the name of the Mother he was being so quiet as they walked to the library for her lessons. "Fa, I'm sorry for hiding..." She said quietly. She hoped she hadn't upset him, hoped he wasn't disappointed with her.

Merlin shook his head to clear out the cobwebs of thought that cluttered up his mind. Smiling at his daughter, slightly sadly he said, "It's fine, dear. I just had a disturbing realization last night, when I noticed Papa is starting to get gray in his hair. I realized that I'm not aging. At least, not noticeably."

"But Papa is?" Sarai hoped that he was going to live as long as Fa, because if he died of old age, and Fa was still young, it would just be cruel.

"Yeah, Papa is aging normally. I'd known I would outlive him. It's always been my destiny to wait for him. He'll grow old and die, and I'll still be here, until he returns, when Albion needs him most." Merlin didn't want to let his children know how he would always be there, suffering, while he waited for his husband to once again unite the kingdoms.

He looked down at his little girl, she was so pure, so innocent. He hoped she would never have to feel the pain of losing her soulmate.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Don't kill me after reading this chapter, please! The plot bunnies got ahold of it, it's not my fault!**_

* * *

"Let's go to the tavern, Merlin." Arthur said, completely out of nowhere one evening, six months after Galant, their fifth child was born. Arthur was probably trying to make Merlin believe that he was fighting fit, even though he was nearing forty. "We haven't been there in a long time."

"Arthur..." Merlin sighed, as he put Galant down for the night. He kissed his son, the candlelight glinting off of his golden curls. After gently tucking him in, Merlin turned to his husband. "I really don't think it would be a good idea. Lord Jameson is still in town, and he's sure to be there."

Lord Jameson was a minor noble, who lived on the border between Camelot and Essetir, belonging to the nobility of both kingdoms. His mannerisms were always kind on the surface, but somehow his smile either made Merlin's skin crawl, or didn't reach his eyes. Needless to say, Merlin detested the man, especially after he found him trying to take one of the serving boys as a bedwarmer.

"I'll protect you." Arthur jokingly flexed his still quite large biceps. Turning serious, he added, "I know you don't like him. He'll be out of Camelot soon enough, and I won't ever invite him again." Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin, and gave him a long, slow kiss. "I'll be there the whole time, I promise."

Merlin smiled softly. He had his magic to protect him, as always, and Arthur wasn't totally useless with a sword.

What could go wrong?

* * *

"Another round!" A deep voice called, as a cheer went up in the _Rising Sun._

Merlin was just about finished with his first mug of ale, and only slightly drunk, trying to explain how he manages to slow/stop time to a group of burly knights of the round table. "No! Really, I just... I mean, it's how I killed Morgana! I've done it _loads_ of times." The knights didn't believe him, that a scrawny git like him had the power to control time.

Arthur was behind him, playing a game of dice with Gwaine and, by his groans, losing.

Merlin took a large gulp of the second ale, completely forgetting about the first. He noticed something was wrong, as he tried to demonstrate the magic, but couldn't. As he stood, he tumbled slightly to the side, legs not working properly. He wasn't _that _drunk was he?

Feeling dizzy, he stumbled away from the table, into a pair of strong arms, "Arthurr... I think 'm drunk..." He mumbled, as he was led out the back door of the tavern by his 'rescuer'. Only, as he was propped up against the wall, he saw who it was, making his blood run cold.

It was Lord Jameson, and he had his smile that made Merlin's skin crawl plastered on his face.

"You're a difficult man to get alone, my dear," he purred, as he removed Merlin's neckerchief. "But, indeed, well worth the effort."

No, no, no. "Stop... Don'." Merlin slurred, trying to push him away, as the cruel noble started sucking on Merlin's neck, and as his hands went to the laces of his trousers, Merlin panicked. He shoved Lord Jameson away, with all of his strength, and his shirt tore as the lord clutched at him, leaving angry red marks on his pale skin.

He tried desperately to access his magic, and failing, he scrambled back into the tavern. The angry noble caught him as he stumbled through the door, pulling him into the corner. Merlin's eyes locked with Arthur's, which blazed I anger, as he saw Lord Jameson attacking Merlin.

"Lord Jameson, what the bloody _hell _do you think you're doing to my husband?!" Arthur bellowed, as he stormed to him. The pub fell silent, all eyes fixed on the king. "Get your lecherous hands off of him!"

Merlin slid to the floor, as he was released. Lord Jameson merely smirked, saying, "He asked."

"Noo, I d'nt..." Merlin slurred from the floor. "Yu dr'gged me."

Suddenly he felt Arthur scoop him up in his arms, and saw Gwaine dragging the noble out the door and in the direction of the dungeon.

"'M sorry... I d'nt wan'..."

Merlin had tears pouring down his face as Arthur kissed his forehead. "I know, love. It's my fault. We never should have been there. I'm so sorry."

The last thing Merlin remembered as the drugs and the gentle rocking of Arthur's arms lulled him to sleep was Arthur whispering, "I failed you Merlin. Please forgive me..."

* * *

_**A/N: There's a point, I swear! *Ducks to avoid flying objects thrown at poor author***_

**_It's so that Merlin has a reason to 1. Learn how to defend himself without magic, and 2. Go to the Crystal Caves to get his magic restored, and meet his dad's ghost..._**

**_I told you, there's a point!_**


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin woke up in Gaius'chambers, his head spinning. As the memories of the night before rushed back to him, he sat up, still woozy and sick. Arthur's strong hands steadied him, and he looked at his husband, apologetic.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Merlin. You gave me quite the scare." Arthur laughed, as Merlin ducked his head.

"Where's Lord Jameson? I..." Merlin tried not to show how much he was hurting over the fact that he let that happen.

Arthur's face looked grim, his jaw tense as he said. "I sent a messenger to King Lot, Gwaine, actually, and we agreed to strip Jameson of his title, and give the land over to the tenant farmers who work it." Arthur pulled Merlin I close, resting his chin on the top of his head. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop it. I should have paid more attention to you. Instead of the dice."

"Arthur I would have been fine if I had my magic. I've been in similar situations before. Uther allowed us servants to be taken as bedwarmers for visiting nobles. I used my gift to make them incapable." Merlin said it like it was a normal thing, especially under Uther's rule.

"Is that still going on? I can't believe my father was allowing his Lords to..."

"No. The Lords who used to do that don't really visit anymore... Probably because they don't want to see _ me _as the Consort. The very same servant they tried to take to bed." Merlin tried to used his magic to bring the cup of water on the table closer, but still couldn't access it. What was wrong with him?

"I need to learn how to defend myself, Arthur. Without magic. I can't be in that situation again, unable to protect myself... I know I'm rubbish with a sword, but maybe a set of throwing knives? Small, but deadly."

Arthur sighed, "Alright. I'll teach you."

* * *

Merlin proved to be adept at the art of knife throwing, beating Arthur after only four months. He focused on training, and taking care of the children, instead of the fact he still was disconnected from his magic.

But after six months without a single spell from his husband, Arthur knew something was off. He consulted with Gaius, as to what might be wrong, and formulated a plan on how to get him his magic restored.

"Merlin," Arthur began the next morning to put his scheme into play. "Your magic still hasn't returned, has it?"

Merlin avoided the question, getting up out of the bed and going to his set of slim throwing knives Arthur gave him after his training was finished. He put the wrist sheaths on, and began to get ready for the day. Arthur rolled his eyes at his husband's foolishness. He grabbed one of their small pillows, and tossed it at his back. "_Mer-_lin, I know how to get it back to you, Dollophead!"

"What?" Merlin turned around, just as the pillow collided with his shoulder.

Arthur dramatically sighed, and got out of the bed as well, going to Merlin. He took the skinnier man in his arms, and said, "I talked to Gaius. What_ you_ should have done_ months ago._ We need to go to the Crystal Caves, in the Valley of the Fallen King's. They're the birthplace of magic, and might help you find you'd again. So, my idiot husband, what do you say?" Arthur grinned, the years melting off of him, at the prospect of another mission. "Are you up for a quest?"

* * *

They arrived at the entrance to the Caves without incident, surprisingly. Merlin was mildly concerned, he remembered the Valley to be a bit more dangerous than this. They didn't see even one bandit, let alone a group of them...

Too easy.

Together, they lit torches, and walked in, Merlin leading the way, as he remembered the path from Talesin. It was a veritable maze of tunnels, but thank the Goddess for Merlin's perfect memory. Finally they emerged into the cavern filled with the glowing, magical crystals.

Arthur looked around in amazement, he'd never seen a cave this... Beautiful.

Merlin knelt down amongst the crystals, and Arthur knew that he was silently praying to the Goddess. A tear leaked from his closed eyes, and the crystals brightened, as an image of Balinor flickered into life in front of the Warlock. Merlin finished his prayer and stood, seeing his father for the first time in years.

"Father?" He asked, voice cracking, "Are you real?"

"Yes, my boy. You and I will always be here, whether or not we want to. What is wrong, and how can I help?"

Arthur tried to be invisible I the background, not making a sound, but Balinor saw him anyways.

"I can see you, Arthur Pendragon. And the Mark you bear from a Dragonfire union." He chuckled, as Arthur stuck his hand in his pocket. "It was your destiny, my King. You needn't fear a ghost."

Arthur sighed in relief, as he walked towards Merlin, and wrapped his arms around him. He was thoroughly glad both of Merlin's parents approve, even after all these years, he was still desperate for everyone's approval.

"I've lost my magic, father. It's gone." Merlin said quietly, as Arthur held him close. He hoped Balinor would have an answer for him, so that he wouldn't ever have to feel like this again. To feel so woefully inadequate.

"Merlin..." Balinor sighed, "You cannot lose what you are, which is magic itself. You are so much more than a son of your father. You are a son of the earth, sea and sky. You were born of the magic that is the fabric of the world. Reconnect with your heart and you will reconnect with your magic." As the ghostly image of Merlin's father flickered and faded, he whispered, "It wasn't your fault, my son."

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, as his husband had tears flowing down his face. "Merlin, talk to me.."

"I'm sorry for what happened with Lord Jameson... I never should have drank the second ale." Merlin still silently cried, as Arthur completely held him to his chest. Arthur couldn't believe that this was the reason Merlin lost touch with his magic.

"Lord Jameson was an entitled bastard who thought he could have anything, any_one _he wanted. **_It wasn't your fault._** You are my husband and I will always love you, you foolish man."

Merlin smiled, as the tears slowed. Arthur rejoiced seeing his grin again. It gave him butterflies in his stomach, every time. "I love you too, your Royal Pratliness. Kiss me?"

Arthur leaned in, tenderly connecting their lips, and Merlin's magic exploded outward in golden waves, reverberating off the walls, and soaring through Arthur, making his skin tingle. He opened his eyes, as they pulled apart, and laughed.

A thousand glowing butterflies filled the large cavern, caused by Merlin's magic.

He was such a _girl._


	8. Chapter 8

"Niall, eat your dinner." Merlin instructed the ten year old. He and Arthur had had two more children in the fourteen years since he regained his magic. The king couldn't be happier with his large family, likewise with Merlin. Next to him at the table was Aria, now six, and the youngest, daintily ate her roll, prim and proper as befitted a princess. She and Amayah got along splendidly, but Sarai preferred pants and archery, as well as knife throwing, which she had begged Merlin to teach her.

Sarai also shared her parents' preference for the same gender, and was courting a princess she had met last Samhain. They seemed to be very much in love with each other, and as Princess Rayla wasn't even fourth I line in her own kingdom, her parents were more inclined to let her marry for love... Not to mention the fact that Sarai was a very strategic match, and Camelot's armies were the best in Albion.

Tonight was very important to Merlin for two reasons, the first being that Merlin was pregnant with their eighth - and probably last - child. The second important item of business was that Balinor was introducing his parents to the woman he intended to marry.

Alanar walked into the room then, his nose deep into a book. Galant was hot on his heels, begging, as always, for a magic trick.

"Please, Al?" Gal whined, as Alanar sat at the table, he looked at his little brother, and smiled as he lit the candelabra with magic.

"Go on and eat your dinner now, little prince." He said, as he turned to his father. "How are you doing, Fa?" He asked, mentally adding, _Have you told Papa yet?_

"I'm doing fine, Alanar, i _was_ hoping Papa would be here for dinner by now..."Merlin knew how to phrase replies to the non verbal questions without giving away what was asked. He'd gotten quite good at it, after all these years. "Where's Markus?" He asked, speaking of his son's husband. They'd had a Dragonfire union two years ago, and had been given a child the year before. Both men were thrilled to be parents. "Is he still working on that project for the solstice?"

Alanar smiled fondly, as he said, "He just wanted to stay home tonight, and take care of little Alaric. He's a great father, Fa. But yes, he's still working on the project for the solstice. He won't let me help, which is_ very_ irritating."

Merlin laughed, "That's what you get for marrying a world-class weaponsmith. Arthur is the same way, our husbands and their _suprises._"

In walked Amayah, her golden waves immaculately styled, and wearing a stunning pale blue dress, to set off her tan skin. "Fa, Papa will be here in ten minutes or so, he has last minute preparations for the festival tommorow, and Balinor has just arrived with his betrothed." Amayah had taken over running the royal household on her twelfth birthday, four years ago, and was quite skilled at the coordination of all of the different schedules.

"Thank you, Amayah, dinner is ready, if you care to join us..." Merlin asked, because when she had taken over the duties, she requested to have an open _invitation_ to dinner, so that she could refuse, if there was an emergency. So far she had only refused once, because she had a prior arrangement.

As his daughter sat at the table next to her little sister, Merlin asked, "I take it that Sarai is still in Silver Ridge, with Rayla?" Arthur's mother's estate, Silver Ridge, was an eighteenth birthday present for Sarai, who was feeling claustrophobic in the crowded citadel. Out at Silver Ridge, she had freedom to do anything she wanted, while it was only a days ride from Camelot, if she missed her family. The estate's tenant farmers loved their new mistress, who even pitched in when harvest season came, and protected them from the bandits who used to plauge the area.

"Yes Fa, in her last letter, she wrote that she would miss meeting Bal's fiancee, but she would try to make it home for the Midsummer solstice." Amayah replied, with a sad expression on her face. "I miss her, Fa, but I know she couldn't stand the city anymore."

"You miss me, little sister?" came a loud, boisterous voice from the doorway. "And here I thought I was second best." Sarai laughed, as she held the door open for Princess Rayla. Sarai's lady love was a rare beauty, with platinum blonde hair, and vibrantly green eyes.

"The farmers had managed to sow the fields early, and we had our celebration for the beginning of the growing season just yesterday." Rayla explained. Rayla was more feminine than Sarai, and wore light dresses, which looked at a glance pretty and delicate, but could stand up to her love's frequent woodland explorations. Rayla had, herself, magic same as Sarai, but she had more of the gift of foresight than anything else. She was a seer, and her parents who never had always been supportive of those with magic, sent her to a druid camp every summer for six years, until she had mastered her gifts.

-_Emrys-_ Rayla's voice said in Merlin's mind, _-Darkness is coming. Have your Dragon-forged blades at hand. Morgana lives.-_

_-Thank you, Rayla. Have you warned Sarai?- _Merlin gripped the hilt of one of the knives in his sleeve, as Arthur entered the room.

_-I have, Emrys.-_ Rayla sat down calmly in the chair Sarai held out for her, as if the entire conversation had no consequence.

Merlin stood from the table, and went to his husband, embracing him. Arthur rested his forehead on Merlin's, looking deep into his eyes with a little smile. His laugh lines and crow's feet spoke of the generally happy life he had lived with Merlin, the sorrows coming few and far between. Soon, Merlin knew, the entire kingdom would mourn the loss of the greatest king Albion had ever, and will ever have. A tear formed I the pit of Merlin's eye as he ran a hand through Arthur's silvering hair, and remembered the warning he had received on the eve of the twins' birth. Arthur was wearing the same outfit as the dream.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" Arthur asked, with a gentle smile. He cupped the back of Merlin's neck, and with his thumb tried to rub out the tension.

The Goddess only knew how badly Merlin would miss that smile in the years to come.

"Nothing, love." Merlin said, voice thick with unshed tears. "I just missed you, that's all. You're an absolute Cabbage Head if you think that I'm not going to miss you the instant you leave."

"I missed you too." Arthur said, kissing his forehead. "I love you, you foolish man."

"I love you too, now and forever."

Arthur looked at him in concern. Usually Merlin was sarcastic, or said something along the lines of 'I love you, your Royal Pratliness.' But the teasing glint in his eyes was gone now, replaced with an age-old sadness, a sadness he couldn't even begin to fathom.

Suddenly a sharp cold wind blew open the doors, and in marched Morgana Pendragon, and at her heels was Arthur's Bane, Mordred.

* * *

_**A/N: Pease don't kill me... Again.**_

_**Fact from the show I input into this... A high priestess can't be killed with a mortal blade, and so... She wasn't totally dead, in part one.**_

_**Now she's back, and going to try to kill Arthur one more time.**_

_**Good thing Merlin's got some Dragon-forged blades, right?**_


	9. Chapter 9

"Children, run! Rayla, get them to safety; Sarai, Alanar, protect your father!"

Merlin cast a protective charm over his womb, as his children were ushered out of the room. He prayed to the Triple Goddess that this would be over soon. He didn't want Arthur to waste away, or suffer, but he knew that, today, his husband would die.

"You really thought a mortal blade could kill a high priestess of the Old Religion, Emrys?" Morgana laughed mockingly, as Rayla shut the thick wooden doors behind her and the little ones. Mordred remained silent throughout this, standing blankly, a sword at his side. "Do you like my pet, Arthur? So loyal to his mistress..." She turned her burning eyes on her brother, as she commanded, "Mordred, _kill Arthur Pendragon."_

As the young man drew his sword, Merlin noticed that it had a green cast to the metal. He guessed that Morgana had taken no chances, and poisoned the blade.

Alanar silently mouthed a spell to break Morgana's mind-contol over Mordred, as Sarai launched a dagger at her aunt.

"Morgana, please, you don't want to be this person!" Merlin begged, as he drew his Dragon-forged blades, parrying the slash at his husband. Arthur had drawn his sword, but his age had slowed his once lightning fast reflexes. Merlin took a defensive stand in front of him, blocking Mordred's attacks. He managed to embed a dagger into the man's shoulder, and as he stumbled backwards, launched a Dragon-forged knife at Morgana's heart, as he tried to fend off Sarai and Alanar's attacks.

But just as the knife found its target, and Merlin returned to his defensive stance, Mordred recovered, and his poisoned sword slid deep into Arthur's side. The king took a stumbling step backwards, catching himself on the table.

Merlin gasped, feeling as if the blade had pierced his own flesh. He fell to the ground in his grief, a shock wave of magic exploding from him, which blasted Mordred against the wall, his head cracking on the stone sickeningly. The magic dissipated, leaving Merlin weak and dizzy.

"Merlin?" Arthur mumbled, as he slid to the floor, no longer able to stand. Arthur was oddly confused by what was happening. He knew what dying felt like, but he was so... at peace this time. This time, he was ready to go. He prayed to the Triple Goddess that Merlin would be alright. That he wouldn't pine too much for him.

His husband forced himself up off of the floor, taking Arthur's head into his lap, brushing away a few stray hairs. "Arthur, you're going to be alright..." Merlin said, as tears flowed down his face. The outside world ceased to matter to them, as they gazed into each other's eyes for the last time. "I'm so sorry... I never wanted this to happen." Arthur's trembling hand reached out to caress his husband's face. "I love you, Arthur. I will love you until the seas turn to fire and the cities collapse into sand."

Arthur weakly smiled, "Always and forever..." He murmured, as his eyes drifted closed.

Merlin bowed his head, pressing his forehead to his husband's as he sobbed. "I'm pregnant, you prat, you _can't_ die yet." But Arthur had already taken his final breath, drifting away, into the afterlife. Merlin held him close, his entire body shaking with the force of his grief. "We're having one more son, my love..."

Slowly the outside world crept into Merlin's little bubble of misery. He heard the sounds of doors opening and closing, heavy thuds echoing through the hall. He heard a sharp metallic clink, as someone placed his cleaned knives next to him.

A hand gently gripped his shoulder, and Merlin looked up into the face of his soon to be daughter-in-law, Rayla. He sniffled, drying his tears on the sleeve of his shirt. "He's gone, " he said, those two simple words summoning up a fresh wave of tears. Two words, that's all it took to bring Merlin's entire world tumbling about his ears.

"Lay him to rest in the Lake of Avalon, Merlin. Arthur is the Once and _Future_ King. When Albion's need is greatest, he will once more set things right. He will return to you, have faith in your shared destiny." She knelt down next to him, avoiding the puddle of blood seeping towards the door, and comfortingly laid her head on his shoulder.

Merlin held the love of his life, his soulmate, Arthur Pendragon, close one final time, pressing his lips to his husband's forehead.

He would wait for him. Always and forever.

* * *

_**A/N: I know you probably all want to kill me (again) but fear not! After the epilogue, there will be a third (probably final) installment of A Love to Outlast Empires.**_

_**Arthur will return, my loyal readers, much to his husband's joy.**_


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin sat in a window of the citadel, as servants scurried about, decorating the castle in honour of the upcoming solstice. Balinor and his Queen, Samara's children (along with Alanar and Markus' veritable brood) played through the corridors, giggling gleefully..

Merlin remembered the games he and Arthur had played with the children's parents at that age, when everything was smiles and joy. The ghost of a grin flitted across his face, as he lost himself in the memories.

It seemed as if he was living there, in the past, these days. Now that his youngest son, Arthur Pendragon II had grown up. Said son walked down the hallway, and picked up his father's discarded sketchbook and charcoal stick. Merlin had taken to drawing the faces of the people he had loved, and lost. Gaius, Gwaine had recently fallen into the grips of a deadly illness, his mother, but most of all, Arthur.

"Fa?" His son asked quietly. It seemed rather odd to visiting nobles that even the king, who was now one-and-forty, called this twenty-something man 'Father'.

Arthur placed the items back into his lap, and Merlin curled his body around them. "Hello, Arthur," he replied. The time passed since his husband's death had not soothed the ragged gaping hole in his chest, where his heart used to beat. That once thriving organ had Benn ripped out, and rested with Arthur senior, at the bottom of the Lake of Avalon.

Arthur II was a carbon copy of the king. Though he styled his hair differently, his every feature screamed 'Arthur Pendragon'. It broke Merlin's heart to see _his_ face so clearly, yet it not be his soulmate. He didn't resent his son for looking so much like his father, but every time he smiled, Merlin felt the hole throb.

"Fa, I know you want to leave Camelot. It's alright. I'm grown, and you can go wait for him to return." Arthur said. He wished that he could take away the sadness in his eyes, see him smile, like he did in the paintings in the hall of portraits. He looked so happy, with Papa at his side.

Merlin gazed at his youngest son, with an infinite sadness haunting his face. He blinked as a tear rolled down his face, "I miss him, Arthur. I miss your father. It is twenty years today that I lost my soulmate. I can't go on without him."

"I know, Fa. I know. I just want to see you smile again, and I know that here, in this castle, surrounded by the memories of him, you won't get any better. You need to be near him, by the Lake of Avalon." Arthur gently hugged his father, trying to get him to realize that he could leave the citadel. He felt dampness on his shoulder, and knew that he was silently crying. Crying for Arthur, crying for his children, crying for himself. "We'll visit you Fa, but we all know that you need to be alone."

"Thank you, my son."

* * *

In the years that followed, Merlin built himself a small stone cottage, right near the lake. It did help knowing that if Arthur were to return, he would be the first to know. But slowly the years turned into decades, and Arthur didn't return.

Then the decades turned into centuries. Centuries spent without his love, watching for any unusual ripples in the lake. Ripples that signified the return of the Once and Future King.

All the while Merlin aged not a day, still young and youthful as his great grandchildren grew old and died. Merlin's name became more of a legend than a reality to his descendants, a crazy old grandpa giving in a hut by a lake_._

Yet still there was no sign of Arthur. Not even in the panic of the Great War, nor the fear of World War Two, was there a single sign from the Triple Goddess.

The dawn of the new millennium came and went, just as the previous one, without Arthur.

Now one thousand, five hundred and fifty eight years after the death of the king, Merlin looks out across the still waters of the Lake of Avalon, and waits. As he always had, and always will, until one day, when there is a great enough need, and his soulmate will be with him once more.

* * *

_**End of part two.**_

_**Stay tuned for the final installment, So I've Outlasted an Empire.**_


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